G-D BLESS!

So I just got the call. No not a good call, was just told that my wrap up for all my travel, the trip I was actually looking forward to where I was asked to speak in front of a very large audience in France, was well being given to someone else. No problem, maybe because I am not a good speaker or my scores have been trailing. Nope still the highest rated speaker in the group. Maybe because they wanted someone else. Nope was still their first choice. No it is the same BS of politics and favoritism. G-D BLESS IT!

My manager is leaving to join a new group and thus my manager who has been at least a fair manager is being replaced by … oops, no clue. Until they find a new manager I am reporting to someone who at best loves to rule people he may or may not be in charge of. Loves to throw his power around, although he doesn’t have that much of it. Yes it is my dearest and closest friend. Someone who climbed to the top by kissing butt and doing everything he could to make himself look good at others expense. And now he is my manager. G-D BLESS IT!

I am back in town which is nice, weather is pretty, and my apartment comfy. Quiet and comfy. Empty and Comfy. Lonely and Comfy. No not desperate, but is it too much to ask for just a couple of good friends out here? I have a couple of friends on the other side of the country, but what about local. The local friends I have, well I mean you are there for them during good times and bad, but when can it be about you? When can you expect for a good friend to just say, Hey what’s up, want to grab to eat? To say you know I haven’t heard from you, how are you doing? Enjoy your weekend? Sometimes it feels like you are always the one initiating, just get tired of it after awhile. Since when is friendship so much work? G-D BLESS IT!

But I have my health, and if you have that, what else do you need in life? I guess I am tired. Tired of being used by work to be used for the grunt work because I wouldn’t complain, but when it comes to the better assignments, passed over. Tired of being used by other people. Just tired.

One tries to be a good and moral person. To help fellow people in matters both large and small. To give of oneself in everything from physical, to monetary, to moral matters. We are to believe to accumulate capital for the soul for those deeds and actions. But do we really have to wait until death to cash in that capital. Must we wait until we die to realize the fruits of our labors. So often we help and like the changing of scenes in play, so does scene disappear before our eyes never to be seen again. And just as rapidly our rememberance of deeds done and actions performed. So one must ask again, why do we, to our own detrmient, give unto others as we beleive we should?