Its about believing

Oh the rollercoaster our emotions ride as they catapult our bodies through an endless cycle of twists and turns and of course drops. As many of my readers know I have been furiously studying for an unstudiable (new word, don’t try to look it up) test. Yes it is horror of horrors a standardized test for eventual entrance into world renowned business schools (or wherever the hell I get into). The day began long before the roosters crowed, or the newspaper delivered on his morning rounds out of the sunroof of his used Mercedes. I got up and attempted to feed the butterflies in my stomach some unsettling cereal before bundling myself up and facing the brutal CA winter (ok, may not be as bad as WI, but those rain drops can go right through you). With surprisingly little traffic I drove partly asleep to the testing center only to find I have now arrived 1 ½ hours early fully expecting the copious CA traffic that usually ravages our fair city. So as any good boy scout who is always prepared, I grabbed the book from my trunk and sat huddled in my use 325is BMW and read while listening to classical tunes hoping that a little Beethoven would enlighten the brain and get the blood coursing through my veins. If only it had succeeded. After 45 minutes and no longer able to feel my toes I went into the center (which of course was still closed) and took a place on the wall with two other pour souls who were furiously flipping pages in their notebook or textbook respectfully hoping to glean one more equation before the test. Upon the appointed hour we were finally allowed in, told to strip, well of our belongings not down to our skivvies (not that type of examination) and brought into a room with more cameras that Hugh Heffner’s house. Alas my poor readers I can not reveal what I saw on that hateful exam for I have signed in my own blood to that great testing center in the sky that upon pain of perjury, death or worst of all failure to receive my final grades I will not reveal what I saw on that flickering computer screen. I will say after 5 hours and a couple of rapid trips to the bathroom (fully timed by the computer to be 5 minutes or less if you please!!) I completed. Bathed in sweat (a picture only pretty to see in a bedroom or in a gym), and slightly dazed I stumbled out pleased with my results, although not as ecstatic as I might have hoped. Will those scores be good enough. How will my life be decided? I don't really know at this juncture, but the train has left the station and it feels great to be on the tracks again.

The rest of the day has been but a blur until just recently. My director, well let me tell you a little something about CF. CF first hired me into my job. When the rest of the company was going through layoffs she fought to keep me and indeed she succeeded against the evil forces of HR and Finance. She is a mentor and a good friend, always looking out for her employees long after they have left her side. I was rocked as many of my peers were when we found out her 6 year old son had a cancerous lump in the back of his throat. There is nothing more than can be said except that all of our prayers, thoughts, and minds are with her and her family at this time. May the sun continue to shine upon you through this dark time and allow you to emerge unscathed on the other side. God bless you.

P.S. To all GMAT officials this entry is not guaranteed to have proper grammar, verb agreement, or sentence structure. I know it kills you to read such, but alas you will have to deal with it. Even if it means ending my sentences with a preposition!