I love my blood, my red red blood!

Well today I decided to do the altruistic activity of donating blood. Now if anyone feels they have any semblance of privacy in their life, do not go to donate blood. Wow, lets see if I remember some of the questions.

Have you ever been to Africa, if so where did you stay and who did you sleep with? (I have to remember their names??)
Have you ever slept with a man (question is only for men of course)
List all the times you have been out of the country in the past three years, with dates, and again who you slept with? (yeah I can’t even remember where I have been in the past three months, yikes!)
Have you ever used a needle (ok easy one, finally), has anyone you have slept with every used a needle (man I am going to need to ask so many more questions on dates from now on, they have this fascination with my love life, or LACK THERE-OF)
Oh wait here is a good one. Have you ever traded drugs for sex? (I am looking all over the place for the cops—by the way the answer was NO).

So after all these calm and relaxing questions they take your BP and I my gosh look at that you have high BP. Well come on you just gave me the third degree for 20 minutes, of course I have a high BP, I guess that helps get that blood out of you faster. So about 8 of us are all facing each other with red tubes hanging from our arms looking like something out of the movie aliens trying to look normal as we see our life fluids draining away. How you doing (insert Italian Joe Tribiani accent here, with cool head nod)? Finally after we have successfully lost some weight (is this the new Atkins plan, drain fluids), we move the recovery area. Here is where they hope you will pass-out (versus at work or on the drive out). Every time you get up you need to ask permission so they can have a volunteer come behind you and catch you in case you fall. They apologize for the quality of the cookies, not being up to the usual par while ever watchful. One poor gentleman who had been up since 4 to get to work, decided to lean back and close his eyes while recovering. You can imagine the fun that one caused! Finally when they believe I am not about to pass-out, I am allowed to go my merry way, another happy customer. So do a friend a favor, leave your privacy blanket at home and go donate blood, for the great good.

They leave you with a smile, a thank you, and a subtle, “We can't wait to see you in two months for your next donation!”