Of Course!

Of course it rained yesterday, early in the morning I washed and hand waxed my new car. So of course it rained. Figures.

A case of the Mondays

Have you ever had those days where everything seemed to go wrong. You wake up late, and as you are running around the apartment you stub your toe on the wall (yes I still walk into walls). You go to the gym, for the first time in a few weeks due to all sorts of excuses you worked up for yourself, and all the progress you have made recently is gone. You haven’t stuck to a diet in weeks so you know not even to touch the scale. But its ok, you are in your sanctuary, you are at the gym, but no matter what you do, you can’t gain your focus. You bounce from one apparatus to another, even trying the torture Stairmaster, and yet that mind continues to wander and the focus never comes. After a disappointing workout, you get into your car to drive to the office. After a wonderful sports car cuts you off just to slam on their brakes when they need to pull into their driveway (I am insured, can I just nudge them a little?). You finally pull into your parking space get up to your desk and are faced with a multitude of emails that have thrown you out of the loop on a project that is supposed to be yours. Why do I get the feeling it is going to be one of those days. I just want to go back to bed!

ARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cuba Cuba Cuba

The relatives are coming the relatives are coming. Actually they are already here and about to leave I just didn’t have a chance to blog earlier. Yes my grandparents and father are in town for a couple of days just to say hi since I haven’t seen them for a little while. Now spending time with any relative is definitely an experience as you are bridging generations while still keeping it in the family. So what activity is good for all ages and can certainly help with any family occasion? You guessed it, a little drinking. In CA though we do not call it drinking we prefer the term wine tasting. So we embarked on a comfy drive (in my nice comfy car) to Napa Valley for some wine tasting. By the way for anyone who comes to CA, I highly recommend Sonoma over Napa as it is significantly less touristy and has a wonderful feel to it. But there is always the question of what to do in the evening. My dad has a great idea to maybe do a comedy club, something the whole family can enjoy.

I thought this was perfect, although one of my friends I was talking to was a little hesitant but couldn’t really identify why. Well I found out why. The comedy club we attended was having women’s comedian night. Now woman’s comedian night is bound to have enough jokes poking at men to meet every stereotype, but lets face it most of them are true. But then there are enough jokes of women’s hygiene and other such activities to make even the most Metrosexual male squirm in his seat. But it gets better. The subjects of tonight’s festivities included such topics as anal sex, STDs, incest, and a colorful rendition of what a penis looks like up close in the eyes of a woman. Now I thought most of these were hilarious, except I am at a table with my grandparents. Now they are some of the coolest grandparents I know, but I don’t want them getting offended. So I am cautiously sneaking glances, are they laughing? Are they laughing just to fit in? Are they ok? Suffice to say it was fairly interesting. Maybe next time we find the Disney comedy club. :-)

perfect

And then at long last an exhausted smile. Not in respect to anything in particular, just a tired smile. Somehow seeing that just makes everything all right. They finally smiled. They deserve it after all they have been through. Given enough smiles, and you might just have a winning streak.

OHHH S**T

Last night I was in a fairly mellow mood. I was cleaning my apartment for the impending arrival of my family who are spending the weekend. I was burning some candles, playing some fun music and just overall enjoying a quiet evening (for once not working). Toward the latter part of the evening I moved onto one of my favorite parts of the evening (and this should show you how pathetic my life can be), that being a nice warm shower. I am in the shower and after the business of cleaning it is time to just let your cares melt away under the very warm water and the steam enveloping the enclosed shower area. Letting the water massage your shoulders and neck and just letting those muscles relax and droop. I am in this state of relaxation when CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG. Fire alarm goes off. First thought is that I need to go respond to an alarm like I am at work. But no the alarm is wrong and wait I am not at work. Ok so what could it be? Wait I have a fire alarm at my house, oh shoot maybe my candles starting something on fire. So I jump out of the shower, barely grabbing the towel as I barrel out of the bathroom dripping water all over the carpet. Looking every where, no flames no smoke. Huh? Well this alarm is getting really annoying, I think I need to tear this device off the ceiling and silence it. That accomplished with the help of a kitchen chair, I am exploring the apartment, which is not that large keep in mind. I finally determine that the steam from the shower, went out the open door of the bathroom (when you live alone you never close doors) and I believe set off the alarm. So keep in mind that this deep thinking is happening as I am clutching a very small hand towel to my privates and dripping wet. By this point the mood is lost, I retreat to the bathroom to turn off the shower and dry off properly. I then spend the next 25 minutes trying to put the fire detector back on the ceiling (duct tape came to mind multiple times) the wonderful relaxing mood absolutely gone. Well it certainly makes for an eventful evening and a great adrenalin rush.

Various thoughts

So what is it with women and firefighters. We were having some fire suppressant training today that was also supported by the fire department. Now there was a goodly crowd assembled for this training and it was just us, but then the big red truck arrived. Immediately a number of the fairer sex began to make sure they looked ok and put up the best appearances. Now what is it with fireman that is so exciting. Is it the uniform? The fact that most of them are in pretty decent shape due to the job itself? Or just the thought of constantly running into a burning building to save a damsel in distress? Either way, an interesting thought.

This week has been filled with the usual craziness of non-stop meetings and conference calls. It really makes me think of something one of my friends asked me. If you really have meetings from 8am until 4 or 5 in the evening, when do you have time to do real work? It is a fair point, and to be honest that is where working nights and weekends come in. But do we really do our best work at 9pm as we are struggling to stay up? Somehow I think not, but well that is the life we lead.

Many of you have been curious what has been decided about my family vacation. At this point Lebanon has been put on hold until the region calms down a bit. The exotic locations of choice at this point is either Tunisia or Sicily. Both holds a certain amount of appeal and points of interest. Now its just the time of picking one. I know you eagerly anticipate the result, and as soon as we make a decision it will be posted on this very site, so keep your eyes peeled.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Tank! Tank who? You're welcome!

Knock Knock! Doris. Doris, who? Doris locked, that's why I had to knock!

Knock Knock! Who's there? Norma Lee. Norma Lee who? Normalee I don't go around knocking on doors, but do you want to buy a set of encyclopedias?

Just trying to make a couple of you smile out there, one of you in particular. I know it is hard sometimes to smile in the light of overwhelming stress, but maybe some small smile will help a little bit. You are not alone, so maybe that is enough for a small smile.

Footsteps on the Beach

She gets out of a terrible relationship, and drives off into the sunset with her daughter and their dog. The End…the movie is over. The movie always seems to end with the end of a bad relationship or bad event, but the scorch marks on the soul do not wipe as easily as the tears on the cheeks. Sure you can put some makeup on, and put on a brave smile, but that bruises are still there. Like an open cut in your mouth that you can’t stop rubbing with your tongue, it continue to hurt long after the credits finish scrolling.

Do people really understand the consequences of their actions? Adam Smith wrote about the invisible hand and that society functions at its core because people are only looking out for themselves and thus as a group we all move forward. While that might be both convenient and accurate for the economy of nations, it is certainly not what should be expected in inter-personal relationships. We are not in this alone, but rather a part of something so much bigger than any one of us. When you hurt someone else so profoundly, it doesn’t stop there, or even next week or next month. It affects every other relationship, friendship, even interaction going forward. Like a roll of dough that gets a large clump of flour caught up in the ever growing and evolving soul and makes us who we are, with blemishes.

Why do kids trust everyone, have no fear, and treat everything with a sense of profound fascination and admiration? Simply, they have not learned disappointment or pain. If only we all could stay like that, it would be so much easier. Alas, life does not allow for that. When people hurt us it affects how we view life, how we view others, and most importantly how we view ourselves. No matter how much we know mentally it is not our fault, how can we not feel that somehow it is. If only I said or did one more thing. If only I took better care of him or treated him better, he wouldn’t have. I mean who else’s fault could it be, by cheating on me, it must mean that somehow I didn’t give him what he needed. But it is not your fault, nothing you could have done could have changed that. So let me say that again, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!

The problem is, it is way too easy to think only of yourself when you choose who to cheat on, when to lie, or any other selfish move. One doesn’t think about the effects of such actions. I wish somehow we could change that, but we all know that is not possible. All we can do is care for those who are close to us who got hurt. We help them heal and get through those times when there is no end in sight. We make them smile, when all they want to do is cry. And we comfort them when all we want to do is hurt the one that did this to them. Why do we do this? Because we are friends, we are in this painful world together, and we have all been down that pit before, and it is together that we will get ourselves out of it. For all those of you who have ever been hurt, you are not alone.

Give a random hug to a friend. A random email to an acquaintance. Or maybe just a fish on the front porch. Let them know they are loved.

Are they for real?

So I finished my whirl-wind tour of the US (yes three cities is considered the US in my humble opinion) in Dallas. Now when I think Dallas I think cowboys, cactus, gun racks, and legalized executions. What I don’t naturally think of is cute fully birds. I stayed at the Embassy Suites in downtown Dallas and imagine my surprise when I discovered that the theme of the hotel was Swans. Yes you read correctly swans. They had two of these much written about animals in a small pool of water next to the elevators. The wallpaper had artistic images of then, the soap dishes, sugar holders, and even towel racks were in the likeness of these animals. Now I don’t have anything wrong with swans parse, but not something I expected to see in Dallas. Well just keeps you on your toes and puts a smile on your face.

Thankfully this weekend I am spending my time at home, working of course, but not too much. The exciting part of this trip was that I have a much better understanding of my job and what I am going to be working on. For the past few weeks I have been working reactively, not strategically. Now having gone through these field tests, I feel I understand what customers are looking for better, and can do my job better. Although lots of work, it is certainly a good feeling to feel more comfortable with my job.

Not a bad view to wake up to. 

Not a bad view from the room either. Seaquarium, stadium and other fun places here. 

Big bed, all alone, bummer. 

Can you tell I make it feel like home? 

Windy City and Speechless

So I land here in the wonderful windy city and although thankfully not windy, it is rather brisk. How brisk one might ask, well I am glad you did. It is snowing out here. Now keep in mind I have not seen snow in well suffice to say in quite some time.

Now I will be posting pictures in a few minutes of my hotel room. When you travel with me, you travel in style. The Hilton here in Chicago is directly adjoining Colombia College which is located directly on Lake Michigan. After a great workout in the gym here I decided to venture out into arctic in search of a small morsel of food. I found a college dinner filled with the local students. As I walk around one thought kept pervading into my mind. They all look so young! And then I realized, I am just getting so old! A rather humbling thought if I might say so.

Now before I launch into the next story of my ever exciting life I would like to say in my own defense I only got three hours of sleep last night and am not thinking terribly clearly. With that said, I was waiting for my food, but seeking a straw for my drink. The counter was located roughly shoulder to neck height (on me) with a sign saying straws with an arrow pointing down. There was a plain black box resting on the counter top. What would you do? Well I reached into it, seeking some type of plastic tubing to utilize the process of moving soda from the container to my mouth.

Alas the box was empty. To my chagrin a young lady looks at me and says ‘that is my box.’ She has a smirk on her face and continues with ‘Did you just put your hand in my box? You did, and I don’t even know you.’ Now between dumbfound and speechlessness I must have looked like a complete putz. Yes ladies and gentleman once again I, Matthew, was without a cleaver or even not cleaver retort. I could only stumble out, ‘Well that is not something I have heard for quite some time.’ I got a look of pity and she walked away to her boyfriend at the adjoining table. I think I need to brush up on my social skills.

One final observation, everyone smokes out here. I mean outside every building, inside many of them, everyone is lighting up. I forget how lucky I am in CA where no one smokes. People, stop, it is not good for you, plus it makes you unkissable for non-smokers.

Just random observations from a random guy.

What a way to say goodbye

So last night after work, I ended up going out for a little much deserved drink and just a bite of food. A local bar in SoHo that non-descript and no different than the countless other bars and restaurants that lined the street on 6^th Bond. This establishment was different in that it was hosting a casting call for Maxim magazine. Now take a moment and picture the ladies featured in that magazine and imagine now a few dozen of them mingling in the bar waiting for the opportunity to impress the casting director and photographer. Mini-skirts and tiny halter tops or even less abound throughout the group, clearly taste was not an issue in this group. These are woman who if I had to guess had never had to lift a finger to ever obtain a drink in a bar or walk more than 5 feet for a cab. And in this setting were doing everything they could to impress those ever important decision makers including imitation of adult entertainment actresses in the midst of a female on female selection. This included ample spanking, caressing, and acrobatics that would impress even a gymnast. The humorous part of this entire drama, was it failed to move the photographer or director in the slightest. They barely batted an eye, in fact the only result was random male patrons taking pictures using their phones and female patrons clicking their tongues in humor or disgust. This was a scene straight from LA or actually any crazy tv or magazine casting call. It definitely led to a fair amount of entertainment.

So now I am on my way to Chicago for city two in my three city whirlwind tour. Now I like to think of myself as a seasoned travel, but yes even we make the most rudimentary of mistakes. On this trip I failed to bring either toothpaste or contact solution. Fear not those of you who fear for my social life, that was rapidly rectified by the local drugstore, which goes to reinforce the famous line, if you have ID and Credit card, you have all you need.

Alas I spent a majority of my day yesterday inside the hotel working on projects and papers that I failed to work on over the weekend. Yes I was in an amazing locale in Times Square, a mere jaunt to Central Park where the Gates exhibit is being housed, and yet I only strayed outside for a bite to eat and a short bit of fresh air. This is sacrilegious I know, but sometimes even the most fun loving person feels compelled to dedicate a bit of extra time to work, especially when new in both the group and that particular role. Speaking of which, this entire trip was designed to go to focus groups and test our new messaging. There is nothing more humbling than seeing messaging that has spent weeks being formed being panned by leading CIO and CTOs. Clearly some work needs to be spent on this. Two more cities to go with 4 more focus groups, so hopefully good information to be received and embraced.

Other than that all is quiet on the western front. I think especially due to current events that the Lebanon trip I mentioned previously can be officially postponed, now the question of where to go instead must be entertained. Thankfully no feelings were hurt (I think and hope), and as always our family continues to be a close knit group spanning dozens of time zones and two continents. Until the next time, have a good day.

A small view of the Hudson maybe? 

Do you think I should publish some news at my window for them? 

The Hand of NY? 

Sexless in the City

After a great trip out here, I successfully landed in NY, why was the trip so wonderful. Well yes I know it is no fun traveling on Valentine’s Day but United Airlines made it quite pleasant. They have this new premier service that goes from San Francisco to JFK and they really know how to treat you. Of course I didn’t sit in the back so I might have been a little jaded, however they gave each of us a private DVD player with a choice of a dozen movies. A good meal, and nice leather chair, and a comfy pillow. Oh and don’t forget they gave each of us Valentine’s Day gift complete with a large box of chocolate, a book, a DVD on workouts in a hotel room, and a whole slew of coupons for local stores. Well I don’t know about you, but I feel loved when an airline gives me a Single’s Appreciation Day gift.

So anyway I am here in the city that never sleeps, and I would like to tell you conclusively that yes people do sleep in this city. There was some snow on the ground, a steady stream of raining was dampening everyone’s mood and a cold that somehow got under your coat. But yet it was NY. In the taxi on some highway (yes I know I just insulted every true New Yorker by not knowing the perfect route from JFK to Times Square, but with that being said) there was a digital sign that had spent the day scrolling Valentine’s Day messages for people. Such as Pete loves Sue, or Jane adores Ken, now what says love more than that. Of course that does beg the question of what are the chances the right person will be driving at 65mph past the sign just as their name came up, but the thought is there.

So today there is no rain and it is a great NY day. I took a quick walk before starting the workday and can say the city still has the unique smell and sounds of NY. The street venders selling meat on a stick, the I heart NY t-shirts, the horns of the cabbies as everyone jay walks directly in front of them, and finally the constant sirens from police cars going to and fro. The ever pervading noise can rattle the brain and shake the nerves, isn’t it great? A dozen languages were spoken before I reached the end of the block. At the intersection I could physically see three separate Starbucks and two McDonalds, now I don’t know what screams America more than that. A quick trip to a corner deli helped complete the experience. Too bad I have to fly out tomorrow morning to the windy city, but I plan on making the most of this city. I will post a couple of pictures from the hotel room later.

Valentine’s Day or Single’s Appreciation Day

Fear not this is not a rant about what can be one of the most uncomfortable holidays of the year, nope this is about an incredibly funny thing I saw. Yes I was watching tv, kinda in and out of sleep after a crazy busy day. Flashing in front of my eyes was an ad for mail order PJs in a can. What better way to tell the love of your life than a pair of either heavy flannel or sexy cotton pajamas that arrive in the mail in a can? Did I somehow stumble on the home shopping network? No I am on TNT, a normal station. Oh S**T, did I fall asleep and now its like 4 am? Nope its 9pm, we have stooped so low that now in prime time we are selling PJs in a can. I know I am no expert in love affairs or relationships (trust me on this), but may I recommend to all you men out there, do not get your sweetheart pajamas in a can. Chocolate, flowers, yourself wrapped in a bow, all good ideas, maybe not the latter.

As for me, I will be flying on the friendly skies on V-Day. Originally maybe a little depressed to spend the entire sweet day in the air, until I get an email from United. Fear not travel warrior, since you are in our exclusive frequent flyer status, United will be giving you a gift for flying on Valentine’s Day. Nice, I will get either perfume, chocolate, or gift certificate to a lingerie shop. Hmmm, maybe not for me, anyone want whatever I get? Bribes are accepted. :-)

Today has been a crazy day. I just assumed (and you know what they say about assumptions) that since I did not have any meetings until 11 am (GASP) I would be able to get some work done. Well maybe some, but not as much as expected. First we had a fire at the local child care center, not a fire alarm, a real fire. We all rolled, flying down the street thinking worse case scenario with hundreds of kids displaced as we have a real fire. Turns out a tiny amount of smoke from what looks like a cigarette thrown to the ground. Little did we realize there is an epidemic of 6 year old smokers out there, or maybe the 4 year olds were getting high behind the jungle gym. My, how times have changed. Come back, just in time for a medical drill. Now usually I would skip it, and I was debating, but it turns out the drill is in my building, like 10 feet away, come on! So went to that as well. Nothing like a little adrenalin for the adrenalin junkie.

Sweat Pouring down my Brow

Don’t worry you have not stumbled onto some x-rated site that managed to escape the watchful eyes of Cyber Nannies. I was just very excited to finally go back to my normal schedule at the gym. For two weeks I missed out and man do I feel it this week. The rowing machine was brutal, but it is great to be back, especially since sitting at a desk for 9 to 10 hour does bring out the deadly sin of sloviness.

Other than that I have some moderately good news, our good friend Ben who I have been giving updates concerning his cancer treatment. He was not responding to his first round of treatment and the outlook looked bleak, however this new round of chemo seems to be having a positive affect. So we are all praying and tracking this very closely.

Just a quick update, back to the grind of work.

What a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Yesterday was one of those days you wished you curled up under the covers until you couldn’t hear the mesmerizing and inviting death songs of the alarm clock washing over you like waves on a beach. Wearing down your defenses until you finally in utter a cry and get out of that nice warm cozy bed and face the cold realities of the world.

The day actually started better than most in the past couple of weeks, with my first visit to the gym in almost two weeks. Although painful and tiring, a good sweat is always a great way to start the day (yes other ways of getting a sweat is a better way to start the day, but that just is not happening).

Now this new job, although absolutely GREAT, is keeping me busier than a TV censor at a porn convention. My day consists of back-to-back meetings from usually 9am until easily 5 or 6pm. Then of course my mornings and nights are what I actually use to do the work all these meetings are talking about. Seem effective and highly effective use of time? Well welcome to life in the fast lane, as a good friend of mine said, we just need to invent cloning and all will be right in our lives. So ok, there was a bit of work going on. I decided to be healthy (you hear that mom, I had a HEALTHY lunch of SALAD, you know that green leafy stuff). Which means by three I was starving again. As the mind wanders to each of the admins who have chocolate my self restraint is rapidly fading.

But now in the back of my mind for the entire day is something that is going on with my family. My sister who I have unbelievable respect for is living in Egypt working for an NGO (non-governmental organization) teaching reading with a health focus. Good stuff! I have so much respect for her, not only chasing down her dreams, but doing that in a region where most Americans including friends and family, may not really understand. We have our own prejudices from what we see on the news and we met conclusions. Not to mention that she is on the other side of the world from her family (which at times might be part of the appeal). Anyway the point of all this is my family is discussing where to travel for our annual family vacation. My sister is voting for Lebanon. Now I can only imagine what it is like to live in the region and have friends who travel to all the neighboring countries telling amazing stories of sights and events they get to participate in. But personally I don’t feel safe going to Lebanon. My company doesn’t feel safe there, the US government wouldn’t let a majority of the embassy staff go back there, and it makes more appearances in the NY Times than Donald Trump. So I want to convey this, but in a way that I don’t hurt her feelings that I don’t feel safe traveling extensively in a region that she is living and working in. I very much trust her gut feelings and rational, but…. So anyway that is on my mind trying to figure out how to explain all these conflicting emotions and also trying to figure out if this is a rational fear or irrational and not starting a family crisis.

But then mid-afternoon, I took a quick gander at my credit card bill on live, and Jumping Lizards Batman, I did NOT spend that kind of money. Now wait a minute, what is that charge, and that one. Yup you guessed it, someone snagged my credit number. So a call to the credit card company as I am running between buildings to cancel my credit card, and then go through all my charges to figure out which are real and which weren’t. So literally in the very next hour I get an email in my meeting from the person I sold my car to (and taught to drive stick shift), and now she is saying that the car failed the Smog check (I have no clue how since it has passed EVERY time it has existed). But she now wants me to pay for the repairs saying it is the responsibility of the seller. And I am like, whoa, no, it is the responsibility of the buyer. I was probably a little brief in my email, but can we pile any more on today.

But wait we can. There was of course the fact we are running emergency medical drills all week, so my radio was sounding alarms like a NY watch hawker, causing my blood pressure to sky rocket five times a day. Throw in an emotional conversation with a good friend and you have got one hell of an exciting day.

Well its now Tuesday, and I have girded my loins, so come on world GIVE IT TO ME!!

Football—great game, lousy show

Although those backwater players of Minnesota negated the hopes of my team to make the big show, it is still Super Bowl Sunday and that meant time to get those barbecue wings, pizza, beer and a comfy space on the couch. It is time to take a perfectly good Sunday and spend it becoming vegetable like on the couch.

The first half of the match has been both nail biting and adventurous (ok clearly I am stretching here), but any excitement or energy found during the game was absolutely lost during the halftime show. Whose genius idea was it to have Paul McCartney for the mid-battle entertainment? If this was a Valentine’s day show or maybe a show for AARP then sure roll him out, but the super bowl? Can we sink any lower? Now not only do we have to put up with a sleepy half-time show, but we have lost that second sacred part of the game. It was the draw to many of my female friends from home to attend my famous college super bowl parties. No it was not fire nachos nor fashion tips on the home décor, it was those witty and sometimes vulgar, but still funny, commercials. But now, with concern that a child watching TV may see a woman clad in a bikini or even worse a bra (as compared to what they see in the malls and schools every day), we have lost our hallmark of creativity and entertainment. The irony should not be lost on everyone that while two presidents, dozens of war heroes sang “Land of the Free, Home of the Brave” just a scant minute prior to the first main commercial break, but hey advertiser, no lewd, indecent, scintillating, provocative, possibly suggestive, or even mildly entertaining commercials.

My favorite banned commercial was from Bud Light explaining the ‘costume malfunction’ from last year. It depicts a delivery man using the costume to open his beer bottle. Why was this banned? The closest I can figure is it reminds those horribly traumatized children of the 2 second nipple they may have glimpsed last year. Ignore the fact that those hours spent in line at the Supermarket with mom staring at the fashion magazines contains much more revealing costumes on every cover. But heaven forbid we even mention the thought of a nipple (without ever showing it). What has this country come to?

Well let’s raise out our voice and save, G-d Bless America, HOME OF THE FREE! Well except for any that follow our way conservative country. Wait how did I get on politics this is football, there are never any politics with sports. GAME ON!

It’s the weekend

I haven’t had a lot of positive entries in the recent days and that could just be because I was sick and not feeling so hot, but finally one here. We have outstanding weather out here in CA, shouldn’t it always be beautiful out here? It is 72 degrees and beautiful weather. Now I just figure out what I am going to do to take advantage of it. Maybe some mountain biking or sun trail running seems to be on the agenda. Open up all the windows and airing out the apartment is also part of the plan.

This is also a major must-see-tv weekend, for everyone. For some of you that should include Super Bowl on Sunday. Sure I really don’t like either team playing but hey the commercials (although ‘G’ rated) should be at least entertaining. For others of you it is the SAG awards (Screen Actor Guild awards). Sure this is kinda a weird set of awards of a group giving themselves awards, but hey it is fun watching them make fun of each other’s outfits. And if none of those peak your fancy, well I guess you will have to settle for re-runs of Monk or Friends.

So everyone try to go out, have a GREAT time. It feels like Spring Time!!!

Empathy

Last night ended up being more interesting that originally expected. Around 11:00 a sudden and sever fever hit along with well for the sake of keeping this clean I was spending quite a bit of time in the bathroom on my hands and knees. What was going through my head? Well besides the immediate, take me NOW, this is killing me, it was a serious empathy for mom’s who go through weeks or even months of morning sickness. How can you put up with that night after night, week after week, I am sure not getting nearly enough sleep while going through well not fun times?

So you know maybe you are justified in having guys buy you drinks in bars, you certainly make up for it in many other ways. Don’t worry I am not dying or anything, and although I can be melodramatic everyonce in a while, I assure you I am taking care of myself and only answering half my emails from work. And in the immortal words of my doctor, Just wait until tomorrow, it will be better then!

Lust versus Love?

This is going to be a slightly odd entry and so let me start by clarifying a couple of things. First I promise that I am like most normal red-blooded male men who enjoys physical intimacy (a.k.a. sex) and am really not as weird or strange as I am sure this entry will make me sound, so put up with some random thoughts and attribute them to the abundance of cold medication coursing through my veins. With that….

So I got hit up on-line today from an acquaintance of mine I haven’t seen in quite some time and as we were catching up, she told me that she had a problem. That problem was well, she was horny (her words not mine, and of course she never minces words). Now lets clarify, this is someone who is an acquaintance not a friend, meaning this would be the kind of person I would chat with every once in a while, but nothing more than that. Maybe coffee occasionally, dinner or a movie would be a stretch. She wanted to know if she could come over tonight and well rectify that problem. Hmmmm…

My first reaction, and that probably of most men, was ‘how fast can you come over?’. Come on, most of us from the time we hit around 13 or 14 spend a majority of our lives trying to figure out how we can get in bed with the fairer sex, when its offered out of the blue its kind of like Christmas (which for a Jewish person is really saying something). But then of course as the conversation continues, and blood starts flowing back to key areas of the body, thoughts start to hit. Do I really want to do this?

Now before you all think I am some kind of prude, in college or soon after I, like many of my friends, have done activities that well really should be left unmentioned (can we say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas). And by the way all these mentioned activities are legal of course. But anyway back to the point of this story, so I keep thinking about this. And what has struck me before that although sex is fun, exciting, and sometimes great exercise, its really not as much fun if it’s not with someone you really know. There are those things that you just kind of laugh at with a close partner, those things that you can just read in someone. You don’t get that with a casual acquaintance and especially not with a stranger, doesn’t that hold less of an appeal. Come on do you ever look in the mirror the next day and say those immortal words, ‘what did I just do?’ No it isn’t always love (what is love? That is a whole different conversation) but its definitely something more than Hi, lets have coffee and then back to your place.

Well if you couldn’t tell I am home alone tonight, and will continue to be for the evening, and have absolutely no regrets. So why no regrets? Is it just that I don’t want to look at myself the next morning in the mirror? Is it I like someone else and I wouldn’t want to ruin that? Or is just that I am still sick and can’t think about any physical activity right now without getting tired?

But the real question that came out of this whole thing, is this what you would call maturity? SCARY!