Vacation, yes I am allowed to take those

This blog will probably a bit barren for the next two weeks because tomorrow marks the beginning of my vacation. Yes boys and girls it is time again for me to embark on a trip of wonder, amazement, and patience traveling thousands of miles with my parents and sister. To say we have never had a boring family vacation in 20 some years is an understatement, but yet it is eagerly anticipated by all attending. As written in earlier entries after much discussion it has been decided that we will be going to Sicily (the island at the boot of Italy including such famous cities as Pompeii). Since we will be traveling to the holy country, wanted to take a second and of course put our best wishes to the Pope who is of course in much failing health this Easter weekend.

Last night I went to an orientation meeting for the Red Cross Fast team. The group of 8 or 10 Red Cross volunteer leaders make an interesting group. Imagine a number of older individuals who have been doing this for decades, not necessary the coolest of individuals but a bit more the engineering type. They spent maybe 20% of the time talking to us, and the rest of the time actually swapping stories with each other or asking each other about some training or other since many have not seen each other for many months. 2 hours later after a 3 person interview I think they might accept me as a volunteer, phew I was worried there. Just another opportunity for us to serve our community.

Work has been absolutely insane, with this vacation looming like a thunder cloud over a picnic. Trying to get everything accomplished prior to my departure without dropping any of the multiple balls that are being juggled in the air by sheer act of lunacy. There was a time I was debating bringing my computer both as a movie platform (hey a man has got to have priorities) and to be able to check a couple of tasks if necessary. I have since decided that both I am not that important and have been able to get the right people talking to each other so I am no longer a middle man, now the real question, did I just work myself out of a job? I will attempt to write entries from internet cafes if possible to give updates, so check back occasionally.

A day to end all days

If there was ever a day that would completely try my patience today would be that day. My day started well before sunup with a gentle soothing music of Norah Jones (played at full volume mind you) waking me up at 5:15am. Jumping out of bed, doing my morning routine, I was on the road and at work by 5:40 (not bad considering I didn’t open my eyes until I hit work). I made it to the gym and had a fairly positive workout that worked out the kinks in the body and really put my mind in the right place for what I though would be a busy but relatively routine day. HA!

7:00am was the start of a day that contained 11 straight meetings. Now you might wonder how 11 meetings can be handled by one person and it is actually pretty easy. You have two phones at times, one cell phone one desk phone each in an ear. If you don’t think that would make you schizophrenic nothing will. The day ended up being filled with frustration and grief. Projects that should be relatively easy like putting up a web page have been in progress for over four months and are still not making headway, I mean come on how hard can this be? Things that have already been agreed on, keep coming up for discussion. To top it off I sent a few emails while I was trying to multi-task (children do not do this, you will get in trouble) and ended up sending the right information to the wrong person or the wrong information to the right people. So then I had to send correction emails and well it was just not a pretty sight. My hope tomorrow will be better, but with a crazy amount of work and maybe half as many meetings, I don’t expect it to, but no worries that is why they pay me the big bucks, ummm, maybe let that go.

However the highlight of my day. Mark it, this was it, the best part of the day. This weekend I went shopping and one of the things I purchased was a few brand new button down dress shirts. Last night I took one, ironed it and today I wore it. Now this sounds fairly silly, but there is nothing like the feeling of a brand new crisp soft really luxurious shirt enveloping your body. So yes that was the highlight of my day.

I would also like to make shameless plug for just a minute. In a couple of months I will be doing a run for breast cancer (no pun intended I promise). This is a great cause raising quite a bit of money for research and support of this incredibly deadly disease. If you would like to make a donation please go to this web site: http://www.avonwalk.org/site/TR?pg=personal&fr_id=1092&px=1642098. And support will be appreciated and will help the thousands of families afflicted with this disease. Thank you in advance for your support.

Reparations

In a previous blog I said something that was sexist and although in many ways a blog is meant to be a stream of consciousness a certain amount of understanding must be maintained as to the audience especially since it did not come out in a manner intended. I was talking about how I was beginning to look for a life partner and I mentioned that this sounds more like a woman in their thirties rather than a male in his twenties. I admit I was utilizing stereotypes for how often do you hear men seeking life partners? However, I am sure there are plenty of men in their thirties who do talk about life partners, so to any and all who were offended I sincerely apologize.

Otherwise life is completely crazy. I am trying to close everything up before I go on vacation starting on Saturday but I feel I will not be able to do so. I may in fact have to bring my computer with me on vacation and finish a couple of things on the road. Besides this being a terrible precedence the only good news is I may be able to post some blogs to those of you who are interested.

I am going to try to get some more work done, hope all else have a good night and again my apologies to any and all offended.

A recovery weekend

So I was talking to my grandmother this weekend, which is always an interesting experience. But what really put the icing on the cake, what really made my night is when after about 45 minutes of talking (let me tell you my family is not short winded) she apologizes and says she needs to go to meet some people. In fact she was so surprised by the phone that she was actually dressing and she is not wearing any pants. Now I am sorry, hearing this from a girlfriend, yes is very exciting. Hearing this from your grandmother, yeah not so exciting. TMI comes to mind, among other things. Well it definitely caught me off guard.

Lets see, what other fun and exciting things I did this weekend. Having been doing a bit of travel and thinking it might be spring soon I decided it was time to freshen up my apartment. So starting with the kitchen which was thankfully pretty clean, moving to the living room (a complete disaster) and then made it to the bedroom where I got sucked in. Yes we are talking full on Ghostbusters sucked into the closet where I spent the next 2 and a half hours cleaning and then organizing the closet. Organized what do I mean by that? I mean all my shirts are in color order from Black to white used the ROY G. BIV scare (if you don’t know what this means consult your 6^th grade science book). I finally came up for air and went, MAN do I have no life or what?

So the worst part is that was the most exciting part of my weekend. Sure there was a little shopping action going on, and some cooking action, and a couple of ice cold beers (almost nothing better in life), but truly that was the highlight. Now I get to try to really catch up on all the work I have missed recently while traveling this week. Wish me luck.

Sorrow and Happiness

I fully expected to write an entry about the excitement and adventures in downtown London, and perhaps very soon I will. But first a different type of entry, not one filled with true tales of observation and actions, but rather one of reflection and thought. You see I just watched Finding Neverland, and never has a truer movie been made. For I do not want to give away any of the experience for others who have not seen it, I will not share its secrets on this page, however I will expound on what it means to me. I am sitting in my aisle seat in the middle of a wide body jet flying over Iceland and my eyes refuse to dry. There is a wetness not cause by eye drops or from coughing so hard it forms moisture in the eyes, no it is from emotion that has welled up so deep I can not push it down.

For all the years I can remember I love to dream, if I am asleep or awake I dream of what could happen, what may happen, what might happen. It is neither practical nor a proper use of time, and yet it keeps the soul light and with a sense of wonderment. I see a train ride or a plane ride, and do not see an underground tube with people reading the paper, I can’t help but think what would happen if at that very moment 5 people break out into song and the entire train joins in. Or what would happen if we were stuck between two stations for hours on end and we had to entertain each other with stories from childhood. Now this may not sound like an imagination equally to that of Dr. Seuss or other great men and women, but it is still an imagination. One that is strong enough to fill countless pages in journals that will continue to flow for years.

At Disney theme parks you can watch children filled with wonder and dreams. For at that time they are a princess, a prince, an adventurer, a pirate or anything else they want to be. Somehow when we become adults we forget that ability and we only see a silly hat and a plastic sword. Can you think of anything sadder than that? Nothing is more wonderful than traveling to a theme park and letting the children whisk you away in their own imagination, all you need is a little of your own to join them.

So I have a charge to all of you. Next time you are alone in your bed, either your own comfortable bed, or that strange sterile smelling bed in a hotel room, take a few minutes while you lay in the dark. Think of some great adventure that will happen tomorrow. During a boring meeting, an arduous commute in a car or train, or maybe as simply while walking the hallways in another yet indistinct office building. The imagination, once lost is so hard to find, and we must not lost it. Once lost it destroys our ability to dream, and that is where new ideas, new thought, and the basis for all the positive emotion enters from.

I look so silly sitting here in a my seat in 20G, wiping my eyes with my shirt sleeves as the movie credits roll before my eyes, and yet I look outwards at the clouds and I am flying. Not in a metal sardine can, no I am flying through the mind of a writer, a director, a host of actors, and a plethora of others. It is an exciting time, come join me.

One last adventure or two

My final day in London was not one to disappoint my fans. Little did I know when I awoke that morning at the unbelievable hour of 5am did I realize it was actually a holiday. Yes ladies and gentleman it is Saint Patrick’s day, a day for all Irish and non-Irish alike to dress in green, eat potatoes and Guinness (with a fork for both of course). Now first you might ask why on earth would I get up at 5am, well I am glad you did. My traveling companion and good friend (who otherwise goes by the name mom) had a flight to catch and one must be polite and see friends off. After she left it was impossible to return to the land of slumber so better to try to catch up on some work and prepare for another day.

I will not bore you with work at the convention for that is neither interesting to you my readers nor germane to the conversation, however a funny thing did happen on the way to work (or the forum). Cell phones are curious things. In many places in LA they are such a nuisance that entire areas of restaurants and public transportation are deemed both non-smoking and non-phone areas. Well the British have a much better method. The subway was packed to the walls with men in suits, women in skirts and heels, the occasional student on their way to prep school, and countless others all listening to their ipods, reading a newspaper or simply staring into space their own thoughts hidden behind a mask of indifference and boredom. They all slowly sway to the movement of the train, the only noise the rush of the wind outside and the wheels traveling on metal tracks. No one speaks, for all are in their own bubble. A phone rings, not rings but plays a musical jingle. A couple of people smile as the jingle is one from a popular chart topping song and definitely does not fit on a phone with only a few notes. But this cell phone is top of the line with a quality speaker that is made for those with significant hearing disabilities. Soon both sides of the conversation can be heard by a numerous people all around this fairly non-distinct man in a black suit, which shirt, and striped blue tie. Now many people smile hearing this friend of his tell him of adventures from the night before. But one classic British woman sets out to inform the gentleman that we can hear the conversation, this of course he repeats to his friend. By now most of the train is listening to this exchange between the businessman, a random female passenger and a stranger on a phone. This conversation continues and the businessman is a good sport. Somehow in comes to pass that most of the train shouts at once to the phone that they very much enjoyed talking to him and cheers. The friend on the phone hears 50 voices and sends his best wishes to the entire train and may they all have a good day. It was enough to put a smile on a face of even the most stogy of travelers. What a marvelous way to start the day.

Upon completing work and it being such an unseasonably warm London day devoid of both rain or fog, or moisture of any form, I decided to walk the city. This included walking through Hyde part which had tulips and other flowers blooming filling the air with such a glorious smell. Following which was watching the changing of the guard at Buckingham palace, not quite as glorious as the state welcome to the president of Italy, but still well worth it. Something about tradition that fills the heart and mind with awe. But a mere block away is the guards barracks and training ground. This being a holiday and all a full inspection of the troops was underway. This included a couple of current troops, troops in training as young as 16 and guards of the past. All were dressed in their finest red suits except for the youngest of trainees that were in camouflage uniforms. Squad leaders inspected the troops for hours. I was there to witness a number of guards actually pass out from heat exhaustion, they were caught by fellow guards on either side and soon a squad leader would rush by with smelling salts to awaken the individual and place them back in line. Now this is the British stoicism that we are more accustomed to hearing of. And at the side were over 100 former guards, all devoid of a live gun, rather an umbrella to fill that void. These soldiers, or former soldiers was still able to march in perfect rhythm with a sense of dignity that reminds one of a king or president. It was quite easy to imagine the home guard of geriatrics protecting her majesties land in WWII.

But yet there was still the decision of what to do for the late evening. Now I could spend it in a hotel room watching bad British television or maybe catching up on email in the hotel. How about instead to see another Broadway show. When in the right place, at the right time, why not. So to the Producers I went. On the way I encountered numerous revelers all preparing for an evening of drinking, dancing and general merriment for the holiday. Green was clearly the color of the evening, and all were dressed to impress. But no matter, for I had a show to attend. Certain disappointments did arise when my seat was moved by the ticket company post purchase to an obstructed view in the rafters, but no matter. I was seated next to 5 lovely ladies from Texas who were on their third Broadway show of the trip. Fear not their reputation was quite safe with me, they all had children older than I. The show was both humorous and entertaining and is recommended to all even if Nathan Lane was not the star. Following the final applause, and the curtain falling for the final time, it was time to enter the night once more. It was merely 11pm which means the Irish were only halfway through their merriment but many were on their way to their next stop, most probably a private dwelling. With the oldest of emotions being displayed in doorways between couple of opposite sexes and occasionally with the same sex for all to see. In the cramped elevator to get into the underground the men decide on mutual decision to sing some drinking song while jumping up and down with all their might. This was met by screams and gasps by both the women in the elevator as well as the cables holding it up as it descended 270 equivalent steps down into the depths of London. Let us say there were many relieved sighs when the elevator finally arrived and the opposite door opened. Fear not my readers I did arrive safe and sound and very much alone in my comfortable hotel room. No attractive Co-Ed for me, or geriatric maid on a group vacation.

Overall it was an exciting adventure of a trip, filled with two sightings of the queen, one of the Italian president, numerous members of parliament and royal guards. Two great Broadway shows and even some native British food. It will be good to return home but the thought of attending graduate school at the London School of business did present itself and does present an attractive thought. Definitely something to think about.

Get a life, give a life

Another day another adventure. Due to an error in our travel system I was placed in a Hilton clear across town from the convention center. Although ok for a day, it was certainly unacceptable for the event days. So 2 trains and a bus later we arrive at the new Hilton. Alas they have somehow lost my reservation and took almost 30 minutes to achieve the simple act of checking in. But no worries its not like I was in a rush to get to the convention or anything, but yet I was in a rush. So popped on a quick ferry, then two more trains and finally reached my destination. I will not bore you with the details of a work convention with lots of speakers, boring exhibitors, and lots of stiffs. A majority of the attendees were from the financial market place and know how to dress. If I wanted to fit in, I wasn’t even close. Not only did I not have a suit, I didn’t even have a long sleeve button down let alone a tie. What can I say CA living has rubbed off on me just a bit. I was the only person with 10 miles without a tie, figures. Its ok, I don’t need to wow them with my dress, although every little bit helps.

By the end of the day I was both exhausted, hungry and warm. Jumped on the train and headed my way home. I was just transferring trains, unsure of which train I needed so searched for a map to check. What I found was three men carrying a fourth off the train. No this was not a mob hit or some other form of punishment rather it was three attendants carrying out a man having a heart attack, or more directly chest pains. So I jumped in and offered to assist as an American medic. Now in the lingo it is enough to say that this individual was circling the drain. He rapidly lost consciousness and soon I was able to get the fun of doing a painful stimuli test. This is when you actually get to hurt someone to see if they are faking or not. Most people are faking and trying to get more attention. Did a neck pinch. Nothing. Did a sternum rub. Nothing. Oh shit comes to mind. Now I know one of my readers would think this is so much fun, but then you look around for supplies and all you have is a couple of jackets and your own hands. Not much you can do at this point. Finally a single medic comes with the most basic of supplies. Turns out here in London initial medics arrive on a motorcycle to get through traffic quickly with some supplies, followed hopefully soon by an ambulance. Interestingly enough they do not have nearly the permissions to do in the field what we can in CA, and in other ways they have so much more freedom. Fear not the bloke was ok, and I was given the best directions to get home any man has ever received. I have never seen such thankful people, all we do is help each other, just another day right? Somehow missing the tie didn’t seem so important.

Now I am just high on life, but another surprise awaits me. I am going to Les Meserables tonight. Now I have heard the music for virtually my entire life, a couple of decades. I have enjoyed the music, but nothing compares to seeing the show. Is it not remarkable how a show can evoke emotions, even on the side of a busy London street you can feel as if you are in France during the French revolution. We step out of the theater and see the phone booths that have been around for generations. The taxi cabs whose style have not changed for the same length of time save for the motor and the posters on the side encouraging the Olympics in 2012. I highly recommend the show for all who have not seen it.

So now I am in another city that never sleeps too tired to go out, but maybe tomorrow. As for now I need to do another hundred emails and get some sleep.

When will it happen?

Now I know this is way more personal than I usually allow myself for this blog, but it is something I have to get off my chest. There is nothing worse than watching too much of the world and getting too much of reality for one sitting. Now before I get all sorts of comments, first let me tell you that I KNOW my time will come and all that jazz.

Ok with that said I will speak of fear. Fear not of heights or speed or spiders, but fear of being alone. Now we are never really alone, but when was the last time we were really with someone. With someone in such a way that you can open your soul up with no fear of being hurt or even needing to hide yourself. Sure friends are great, I love them, but what I speak of is that great relationship, that relationship like none other in your life. Yes I know this sounds way more like someone in their thirties than a guy in his 20s, but bear with me. I mean you see it all around you, but when you consider the odds, this is not an easy task to achieve. Add on the difficulty of meeting the right person, at the right time, and it is mind boggling to think that anyone ever finds their soul mate. So yes this is a residual fear of mine. I walk around the busy streets of London listening to conversations and watching people go about their day. Wonder what stories they have and wonder if they would actually like me if they got to know me. I think wonder is better left to the bread company.

So no need to comment on this, just the usual when you see everyone rushing home to call their wives or girl friends, or watching couples shopping and you know he is hating every second of it, except for the company. So hoist up your bottles to every single male and female, may they have lady luck on their side and hopefully soon someone else as well.

Unfeeling? Only when no one else can hear

The only thing more stoic than the weather are the people on the street. No I am not saying all British are stoic but they certainly don’t seem to smile on the street. Before you British get offended read to the end for what should hopefully make you smile.

The day started like any awaking at the ungodly hour of 6am as if I was curled up on Dana St in CA as compared to Metropole. But stepping foot outside and all thoughts of CA whip out of the body as the frigid air swirls around us. But tomorrow is a day off and a chance to explore some of the city. Spending 20 minutes studying the subway map before confidently approaching a subway to take us downtown. It has been so bloody long since I have been on a subway or even looked at a public transportation map, I was certainly pleased it was in English. But no matter we make it downtown to a mere blocks from Buckingham palace. As we approach the Mall leading up to her Majesty’s palace we are thinking they are a little over the top with security. There is a cop (here called constable, don’t worry they can’t get too upset most are not even armed) every 4 meters (12 ft). Like are they serious. Well it turns out that the Italian president was arriving soon for a state visit, and this was the parade route for both him and the Queen of England. Well this is an opportunity that can not be passes up, so we line up along the metal railing awaiting the celebrity status of Her Majesty.

We do not have to wait long before the massive gates open and out marches no fewer than 100 of Her Majesties personal guards in full battle dress with full fur hats, long overcoat, white decorative belt, and an M-16 with knife bayonet. Marching in perfect form they take post in full military posh and circumstance every few feet along the main mall. Now this is an impressive site, every movement is taken with a high step salute to their commanders, and once placed the equivalent of their leftanent goes and personally ensures that each soldier is an exact distance from their neighbors using a ceremonial stick to precisely position his men. The Major rides along the route on horseback with his sword polished perfectly and being held up perfectly straight checking his troops. Each pass includes a yell from the Sergeant for his section to go from Parade Rest to Parade Salute (not to be confused with presenting arms). Now more waiting. Then the senior Metropolitan police arrive each sporting a cool air of efficiency and a few more M-16s for good measure. Then the military field medics which position themselves every 200 ft or so with a wood stretcher and the tiniest of field medical kits (we are talking like three band aids and a roll of gauze). Then comes two full marching bands with accompanying soldiers to move to the end of the parade ground. Then more waiting. Now keep in mind every time an order is given to the Sergeant they raise their left leg to almost waist height and slam it down as a sign of a salute. One Sergeant whose men needed to be moved several times and was thus given many orders and in between held at rigid attention was heard exclaiming to one of his soldiers, ‘My bloody feet are killing me!’ So much for British stoicism.

But finally the moment we have been waiting for, over 150 horse riders in full metal helmets with feather plums, polished metal breast and back plates, and fully decorated horses ride in perfect formation out of the palace, followed closely behind by two Rolls Royce vehicles one bearing the Queen and Prince Charles (in I would like to point out a very much heated vehicle). As we wait for the Queen to greet the Italian president we are shocked to hear a 21 gun salute as never have been heard before, using Canons ( they are nothing if not subtle). One at a time these canons fire ringing off the walls of nearby office buildings juxtaposing tradition with cool modern sites. These canons are silenced at long last and brought to the palace walls from the nearby park where they were fired by teams of 6 horses. These horses in full battle dress and escorted by another few dozen fully dressed honor guard soldiers also on horses take off at full canter still carrying these massive canons. More waiting. Finally at much last the cry is given, Company 3 Subdivision 2, PRESENT ARMS READY, PRESENT ARMS! The queen and other distinguished guests return not by vehicle but by horse drawn carriages (they look as cold as we do now). And just like that hundreds of people, probably hundreds more not even seen, dozens of hours of practice and planning, for the Queen to greet another equal in true fashion. Impressive.

I would like to say I have pictures of this but alas I do not. Not from lack of consideration to you my favorite reader, but rather my camera was safe in its location in my backpack back at the hotel. A good place for it don’t you think?

Well after that time spent in the cold it was time for a spot of tea. Where else to go but the world famous Harrods where if they don’t sell it, it must not be worth selling. An unbelievable mesh of fashion and beauty surround this store. Everything is done with style and grace in this true mark of capitalism. We quickly find a counter where we can relax to a cup of tea while watching the world go by. Lets take a second and examine the finer sex in London. First they absolutely love their boots. Boots of all type from form fitting leather, to bulky sheepskin, from ankle high to thigh high. Oh how pretty they look on so many of them. The British certainly have a look that is quite unique and distinguishable. The men (for my female fans), well they know how to dress. There is no jeans action going on here, ties are on the menu here and are worn with true flair. Pink is not an unusual color to be warn and they can actually pull it off. Oh what it would be like to be in a region where dressing to impress actually means going to work and not just clubbing. But alas the exertions of the day start to wear on the body (or just the bloody cold) so after some more walking around, it is time to make ones way back to the hotel for a little rest before dinner later. More on this later. Have a good day everyone just waking up.

A very small world

I am at 33,000 feet above the Atlantic Ocean on a direct flight to the Motherland (literally). Yes I am on my back to England where I have not yet been invited for tea with the queen or any other members of the royal family. I am sure it was an oversight from their PR department. Thankfully United was kind enough to upgrade me to business where I have enjoyed stimulating conversations with the flight staff consisting of where is the bathroom and what is for dinner. Movie selections have been kind to me with two selections from Disney (Incredibles and Princess Diaries 2), I could not be happier. So from the air this is Matthew saying sleep well in your beds, and holler if you want any fish and chips or better yet, Bangers and Mash.

Maybe 50 minutes before landing I finally strike up a conversation with the bloke next to me. He has been reading books on WWII planes so I had to ask about it. Turns out he is paying to have one restored so he can fly it. Very cool. So then I ask what he does for a living. Marketing, interesting so do I. What type of company? Telecommunications. Funny so do I. Yeah turns out he is one of the Senior VPs in marketing in my group. It gets even funnier, there are 5 SVPs including mine on the flight. Mine was actually hoping to get business and got bumped by me! Can we say career limiting move!! OOPS. Did he know it was me? Well he did as we walked out and he is like Matthew, what are you doing here, and what are you doing in front? Well at least it was a comfortable flight. All I have to say is it is a very small world!

A slice of life

Saturdays, a time to relax on the couch with friends or family or maybe just a good book or movie. A time to let the stress from the workday slowly leak out of every pore and the serenity of the weekend pour over you. Sounds nice doesn't it? Too bad today was not such a day.

I offered a friend my companionship and services for a quick trip into the city for a very specific purpose, which will be expounded on later. After stumbling out of bed a good 20 ft to the couch I kinda lay on it in a bit of a stupor thinking that I must not have slept well last night. I don't remember being up, maybe I just needed more of it. Within minutes of waking up my closest and deepest friend started to vibrate next to me. Yup, Ms. Sony Erickson. Text message from my other friend asking if I was up and ready to go. (yawn), how about in an hour.

Drove up to her house picked her up, and then up to the city. Drove to the store in question, but still closed from the night before. So change of plan, took a short jaunt to the Ferry building where the weekly farmers market was taking place. Now this is an opportunity to see what San Fran really has to offer. Every walk of life from homeless to wealthy and every eclectic in between. The women with the completely blue hair, which of course begs the question, why die your hair completely blue, is it for the attention and to make a statement, or because it is easier to match with clothes. There were dogs abound throughout the market of all shapes and sizes, and of course their owners who fawned over them as a mother should a child. There was a New Orleans bluegrass band complete with banjo, thin mustache and full goatee with Styrofoam hats. Other performers competed with the booths selling everything from fruits to raw meat. By this point we are both ready for lunch of make simply a lake breakfast. On the recommendation of a different friend I tried a meatloaf sandwich. Now this is not your grandmother’s meatloaf, this was a great hunk of meat. But speaking of meat, it is time to run to our primary errand on this trip.

Retracing our steps back to a local establishment called Good Vibrations. This is not your mother’s Yoga store, this is a store made for women who need a little extra something on the side. Lets face it even the best men can’t always truly satisfy a woman before sleep overcomes our tired and haggard body. Well this story fills that gap. A full store chock filled with female pleasure devices. An observation, this light and airy store is so much different than the male equivalent which is more of a dirty place designed to make you feel ashamed and definitely of a dirty sense. This had a sense of Nordstrom about it, with a friendly and helpful sales staff eager to assist in all manner of questions. A female guest attending by herself was asking the male sales rep about one of the many lubes, and he described it as being the consistency of water but a little more smoothness to it, something that will help when you need a little something before anal (he personally recommended it and says he has a couple of bottles). There was the rubber ducky that looks just like your child’s bath toy, but push the secret button and boy does that head know how to bob. With hands dug deep into my pockets, I watched fascinated by the drama unfolding. Armed with some knowledge my friend and I walked out empty handed, but fear not it has a web site for home private shopping.

On the way home we are discussing the events of the day when I realize my car is handling awfully sluggishly. It is getting worse by the second and even worse now we are hearing a loud noise. Pulling through three lanes of traffic I park in the breakdown lane, jump out and sure enough, flat time. Call in Geico and wait almost an hour for a truck to arrive to help change the tire. Now before you all accuse me of being a completely hopeless yuppie, this is a new car and I have not spent the time finding all the winch points and frankly I pay a lot of money in insurance for just this reason. But now I am pissed. A flat tire on practically new tires. After dropping off my friend I limp for 30 miles on a spare tire at a whopping 50 mph to the dealership to have them check it out. Alas not a problem on their side, a gash on the wall of the tire. Before you rise up to defend my honor and tires from the people of San Fran, the gash was on the inside wall, probably some piece of road debris that slashed through the tire. So I got to spend some extra money getting that tire replaced. What a fun way to spend the afternoon.

Tonight I pack and prepare for my trip to London for work. For updates on that watch this space, as for the random thought for the day. Drive safe and keep both hands on the wheel, you never know when you are going to have to battle your car through traffic.

How do you open your eyes?

Waking up in the morning is usually my strong suit. It is infinitely easier than falling asleep, this you can actually will your body to do, however I am realizing slowly not as easy to will your mind to do. I am trying to take it slightly easier as I know I will be going to London in a couple of days and I really do not want to be sick going over there, so I am allowing myself to sleep later than normal. This morning I stumble out of bed at 6:15 which to me sees like both a healthy and respectable time to wake up. Now many of you who know me, know I much prefer to take showers before going to bed for either the reason of enjoying sleeping clean, or allowing me to wash my sheets less frequently. Well last night the spirit just was not in me and I went without, which of course means this morning the enjoyable chore of showering must be done.

(Editor’s note: If you are offended by nudity stop reading here)

So I get out of bed in my boxers, rubbing my face and scratching my rear end (hey before laughing, you try doing both simultaneously). I mosey or more accurately shuffle my way to the bathroom and take a second to stare in the mirror. Realizing that I can’t see anything more than ghosts swirling around me like something out of the Haunted Mansion I decide to put my contacts in. Oh my, I think I looked better without those pieces of plastic in my eyes. Oh well, return eyes to half shut and jump in the shower. Now this is a term that is not completely accurate. When was the last time you saw someone jump into the shower? When you think about it, jumping into the shower would actually be quite dangerous with the slipperiness of the porcelain and the sharpness of the rail holding the shower doors, but regardless I endeavored to enter the shower. This of course required removing the boxers, picking up a leg, placing it in shower tub, then turning body 45 degrees while bringing the other leg to follow. This was clearly much to complex series of steps for me this morning. First foot went straight into the metal guard rail holding the shower doors. This then followed a series of hopping acrobatic exercises as various words of color went through my head. Finally when foot stopped bleeding, the shower I did enter. Ok just one thing, I can live with that, no big deal. On the way out my hand flails searing desperately for the hand rail, instead my elbow finds it. It is so excited that it decides to jab the sharp edge of the hand rail twice just to make its point. Great now I have another extremity bleeding. I am beginning to think the bathroom is just not a safe place for me. Suffice to say I dared not go within 10 feet of the shaving materials.

A bad day gone awry

Well the flu just does not know when to quit, but since life must go on I kept to my appointments most notably with the dentist. Now everyone knows when you are sick, you really don’t feel like ‘chatting’ up a storm, most of the time it is closer to, ‘I am grumpy, leave me alone’.

So I go to the dentist and I get Ms. Happy Efficiency as my oral Hygienist. She just wants to know everything about me as she pokes and prods around my mouth. At one point one of the pokes or prods is unusually strong into the gum and I wince. She looks at me with that sweet smile and asks if that experience was too intense? That now rings against every manhood gene in me to say, of course not. It is only too intense when you take sharp pointy objects and jab them into my soft tissue. Shesh. It keeps going. She knows I have been sick so she asks if I have a wife or a girl friend to take care of me. Of course I answer in the negative. She looks at me with a pitiful look and says, ‘that is so sad’. Great as if I didn’t feel bad enough. She continues to nick and needle around my mouth until finally she seems satisfied. She asks one final question, do your teeth hurt normally? My simple response, not until I came into the dentist.

But then it gets better. Last time I had a cleaning they identifies two cavities that would have to be filled. Well this was my time to do it. The doctor is all business starting to talk, while the nurse start dressing me in my adult bib and a huge rubber cork in my mouth. The doctor takes a quick look at the x-ray and pronounces that these are very small cavities and I probably don’t need Novocain. Do I? Well probably not. But if I do just let him know, ehhh? But not a problem, it will be quick in quick out. He keeps this stream of statements and I with this rubber cork in my mouth could not respond to a single one, even if I wanted to. So they drill both cavities without drugs. Ladies I have one thing to say, Natural anything is so not worth it. I limp out of the doctor’s office with a bill in one hand and the fond farewells of the cute receptionist who bids me out into the world with the promise, we will see you again in 6 short months. Not if I see you coming.

What a day, what a day. Is it really only Wednesday? I mean do I really have two full days to go before it is the blissful weekend? I don’t know if I can make it that long. Well tomorrow should be easier, maybe break a bone or something, anything would be easier than today.

MMW

Not of course this would not be for anyone I know, but I am thinking this is a society that needs to be formed. MMW (pronounced Double M, W), Men of Menopausal Women. This idea came about through an unbelievable friend of mine. This society for the explicit purpose of trying to help Men of Menopausal Women sleep at night. From my understanding not as easy as it sounds.

With that thought in your head, I would like to share one more thing. You have no idea what unbelievable dreams you get when you are sick and high on medication. I mean they are really messed up dreams. Scary thing is you seem to have these same dreams when you are awake as when you are asleep. Today I had 7 or 8 business calls that I took from my couch where I was curled up under a few blankets. I just finished sending emails to the head of each of those meetings asking if I had any action items that I agreed to since I can’t remember anything I agreed to. Maybe this is why they don’t let sick people make decisions. I am sure they were asking me if I could do something, and I was like, wahooo, sure why not! Very scary.

I would also like to thank a very good friend of mine, who took time out of her schedule to not only bring me much needed OJ (trust me it would not have been a pretty sight watching me drive to the store) but she went one step further and got me a couple of things that just made me smile. Lollypops, they are not just for kids anymore, they are for grown adults who need to get in touch with their inner child. Tissues, but not just any tissues, the really super soft kind. A cute little stuffed chick (closest I can get to a gf at this point :-) ) that makes cute little chicky noises. And a couple of other things. So Thank you M, that really made me smile and made my day.

Don’t go into that closet!

So as I lay here in agony and pain (I know a little melodramatic, but it is kinda fun) I reflect on my day. Lets back up, for whatever reason my cold or flu has returned wit ha vengeance. Upset that I defeated it on a prior engagement, it returned with friends to reap havoc on my body. But alas it is no match for me, for I have the ring of power.

Which leads to me second point, can you guess what I have done for the day? What else do you do when stuck on a couch when it is perfectly nice outside without energy or motivation? You watch 34 hours straight of Lord Of the Rings. Well even I could not do that, so I only decided to watch the final chapter of the trilogy which in and of itself was a mere 4 ½ hours. Yes short and sweet it was not. But like many people around the world, I have sent this work of cinematic art on a prior occasion, and yet I find myself biting my nails and giving advice to Frodo Baggins as he walks that eternal walk. I am happy to announce (I am about to give away ending so skip to next paragraph if you have not seen movie) that Frodo does destroy the ring of power and all is right in the world (phew). I would like to think it is partly through my aid and guidance he made it into Mordor and was able to destroy the ring. (Hey leave me in my febrile seizure fantasy, especially if it includes Liv Tyler).

I am also pleased to announce that I have finished my annual chore to the US government and have completed my taxes. President Bush you may sleep more soundly tonight knowing a check from yours truly is on the way to your banker. As for you Governator, you owe me, so nah nah nah (boy do I feel both eloquent and sophisticated). It would be so much easier to be honest if the government just turned and said hey you, yeah you, you owe me X dollars. I would be good with that. Instead of all that calculations and craziness that went with the filing. Ok maybe this is just me complaining. This is now me stopping. So for all those who have yet to do your taxes, good luck! Time is wasting. For all you who finished before……Showoffs!

Understanding Life

One can only understand life backwards, but must live it forward. Sometimes you wish you could just take a commercial break from life. We try to be a good person, we try to chase our dreams, but there is no map, no directions, and no GPS.

Professionally: We measure ourselves in society based on the success of our professions. Measured by net worth, stock portfolios, length of our title, the sportiness of our car, and the size of our house. But what does it really mean? I have a sister that will have not one of those things, and yet she is accomplishing more on a daily basis then I will in a lifetime in a real effect in someone’s life. We work 6 sometimes 7 days a week, and for what? What are we really accomplishing? To create another marketing plan, or another competitive white paper, does that really help the world? Does it change a person’s life? We work harder and harder, but to what end, to what purpose?

Inter-socially: To be loved by all, and serve all, the motto of Hard Rock is truer than any bartender could imagine. The number of friends, the size of our rolodex or speed dial on our cell phone, the number of voice mails after a 6 hour flight. Do these really tell us how we are as a person? Many of us try to be good friends. We try to be there for others be it lending a movie, or buying them a cup of coffee, or sending them some flowers for no other reason than they needed something to make them smile. But is that too much, or is it too little? How do we really know who are friends are, what agenda they might have, and how much they can hurt us when we let our guard down? How much it hurts to realize that every good intention, every offer has been taken for granted like rain water the grass. If there is no rain, I can just get my gardener to water the lawn. How much it hurts to be the cloud that is not needed.

Personal: How do we see ourselves? Is it how flat our stomachs are, how tight our bottoms are, or maybe how much hair we have, or the amount we can bench press. We spend so much time and effort trying to modify our physical for it has a true and absolute affect on our psyche. If we feel ourselves to be sub-standard, we hunch over, act defensive, and compensate in any one of a hundred ways. We never really see who we are in a mirror. When was the last time you just looked in a mirror, I mean really looked? Don’t look at the blemishes, the receding hair line, the stomach, or the pimples. Look at you and see who you are. That is what you measure yourself to be. Do you like it, do you not? Either way it is who you truly are.

I am 25 and to some that seems young, to others seems old, but it is simply an age. An age where you take reflection like every other age. Am I where I want to be, am I who I want to be? I am still an optimist, thank goodness no one has taken that away from me. I still believe in the best in people, and every time someone takes advantage financially, socially, or personally, it hurts all the more. But I refuse to let that jade my spirit, for then I give in and hand them my soul. I still love the smell of the first spring day and the smell of evergreens in winter. Sure the 56inch plasma screen and 15 pt surround sound is enough to make you rip off your clothes in Best Buy and beg for financing, but it can replace the feeling when a tiny whiff of a smell brings back some childhood memory. Society creates more powerful and sense stimulating devices, sometimes the small things make all the difference.

All these thoughts, all these desires to be successful, a good person, and most of all happy, bombard the mind like a hoard of mosquitoes trying to get at the flickering flames of a lantern in the middle of the woods. No wonder it is so difficult to sleep. I guess it is true, only the guilty and jaded sleep peacefully and without thoughts. May I never stopd dreaming, may I never stop hoping, may I never stop smiling at the full moon on a cold winter’s night.

Good night sweet land

The saga continues

I was too tired to write this yesterday since I didn’t get home till 1:00am last night, and although I am not much more rested I am at least on so much caffeine I can type. On the way home from the airport my taxi driver decides to drive inside a construction area on the highway and got pulled over by the cops. This is exactly what I needed after a long day, it was interesting to say the least.

Now Hilton be aware that I am a full Gold member for multiple years now, but be on notice I might have to change that to Starwood. I am staying at a Westin and luxury has a new middle name. First a feather bed with all down comforter, pillows, duvet and Egyptian cotton sheets make it far superior to my bed, although last night I think a metal chair would have looked like a blessing to sleep in. This morning I wake up and with barely open my eyes jump into the shower. As water is cascading over my body something hits me (mentally) I am getting a much better shower than I ever have. I turn around, there are two shower heads on simultaneously (presumably a his and hers shower head) and the shower curtain rod is concave to provide more room. Hey major props for one of the best showers I have had in a hotel in years. Yeah I might just be easy to impress, but impress me you have.

The other cool thing about today as I am attending this sales summit is meeting some people I did work for over a year ago. In my capacity I provided design and technical assistance but never really saw the eventual outcome of my work. Here I ran into a couple of people that used those designs to deploy technology over an entire city. Now how cool is that. So besides exhausted and completely stressed I do have that really good feeling going on.

The only thing that is overshadowing that feeling is this ‘friend’ of mine that I sold my car too. Now I have bought three used cars in CA and it has always been my responsibility as the buyer to get it smog checked. Well I sold my car under the same impression and now she is hounding me telling me it is my responsibility especially since she took it in someplace and it apparently failed (by the way it has passed every year I have had it). So now she is calling me (never leaving me messages by the way) at all hours of the day and sending emails. I guess this is why you never sell to people you know and try to be a good guy by making them a deal. I guess we chalk it up to those life experiences.

Shimmering strings?

Comfortably seated on a late flight to Denver I saw both a beautiful and mesmerizing sight. San Francisco was in the midst of a fairly stead and strong rainfall, not that this is anything new to us, but it bears meaning on the story. This weather of course delayed numerous flights causing delays up and down the concourse as planes were not in the correct locations. So when we finally boarded it was with a sense of relief to finally get going knowing at best we would not land in Denver until well after midnight. So now I get to the part where I am comfortably seated on the plane awaiting takeoff. Rain beats strongly on the fuselage of the plane beating the drum of a thousand angry beats. Thrusters set to full we explode down the runway and take to the air. After just a few seconds we have reached a height where now the rain is a mix between rain and freezing rain, but due to the speed of the plane it appears to actually be moving horizontally. No longer can individual drops be seen, rather we are faced with those sights that just steals your breath for a moment as a thief would a watch from a gentleman mesmerized by a beautiful lady.

Out the window there are thousands, nay tens of thousands of silver strands of water. Glistening and twisting like strings caught on either end and being shaken by the wind. These strands seem to ebb and flow as the vessel of steel maneuvers and claws up into the heavens. The chaos outside belies the smoothness of the ride, until like a mob of angry insects they suddenly rear up at the plane. Severe turbulence as we continue to climb desperate to escape the beautiful yet violent weather surrounding us. After what seems an eternity we achieve the air free of inclement weather patterns. Isn’t it ironic has some of the most beautiful sights also tend to be the most dangerous?

Switching thoughts for just a moment, it is funny how I have more work assigned to me that could reasonably be expected to be handled by a full grown monkey or employee (amazing how similar we can be), and yet somehow I continue to volunteer for more projects and deliverables because I find them interesting or fun. Is this like compulsive shopping, now it is compulsive deliverable volunteering? As long as I keep it relatively in check should not be detrimental, but it is something humorous.

So now I am on my way to Denver to attend a sales conference for state and local governments. A good opportunity to learn about top concerns by both salesmen as well as the people they are actually selling to. Thankfully this is a quick trip, no more than two days (now two hours less due to flight delays) back in time for the weekend so I can actually work on my taxes.

Until my next riveting saga, good night to all, a thousand times, good night.

Confused?

Have you ever known what you wanted but had no idea how to describe it?

Have you ever known what you wanted to say, but no idea how to enunciate it?

Have you ever known who you want to be, but no idea of how to get there?

Have you ever heard what life was telling you but couldn’t quite make it out?

Have you ever thought so many thoughts that not a single thought was thought?

Have you ever believed in something so much, but no idea how to actually achieve it?

Have you ever felt something so deep inside, but no idea what it was?

Have you ever been more confused that you were just going through life?

I guess this is why you call it life, ain’t it grand?